03 - False Advertising

[has_signed_on]

[Izaya's on a mission today. He's walking towards the Libary, bucket in one hand, comm in the other. It's not all that interesting until a few moments later when he puts up a network post.]

---[Text]

Hey~! Does anyone feel like playing a game? <3

Comments

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Um, and where would you like me to put it? I don't exactly have a bag of holding.

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

I don't care where you put it, just stop waving it around like that!

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Well it just so happens this bucket is very important to me.

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

Why the fuck would that be important to you?!

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

because it makes you flip the fuck out

Well what do you have against it? ...Can you even say the word bucket?

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

Yes I can say the fucking word.

[He crosses his arms over his chest.]

Humans are fucking insensitive.

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

It goes hand in hand with lacking a spectrum of emotions.

So if you can say it, why don't you prove it~? [Otherwise this bucket just might be moving closer to your general vicinity, Karkat~~~~]

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

"Bucket." [He grimaces a bit as he says it and scowls at Izaya.] There, happy?

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Trolling the troll? OF COURSE.]

Possibly. [He just grins and then dumps the contents of the bucket onto the table unceremoniously. Basically it's all the checkers, chess and shougi pieces ever. Oh, and a board for it all.]

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

[Karkat eyes the stuff. Well at least he was using the bucket for a purpose.]

Now put it a-fucking-way.

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Izaya looks at Karkat. He looks at the bucket. Then back to Karkat.]

...

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

....What.

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Here.

[Karkat, you are obviously not red enough yet to suit Izaya's needs. That bucket? Yeah it's thrown at the troll.]

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

[Hey guess what, this icon.

Except with Karkat flailing and making dsfgkldfgbtepdsflm noises.]

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Yeah probably one of the greatest thing he's seen in a while.

So he's just going to sit there and watch this show like the prickish jerk he is.]

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

[Karkat is wrestling this bucket like it is a monster from the deep. And when he finally gets it the hell OFF he is pretty red.

He chucks it at Izaya's head.]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Too bad Izaya passes his saving roll so he doesn't end up counter bucket'd.]

Nothing. Why?

And you wouldn't believe how red you are right now...♪

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

[The comment about being red makes Karkat choke on his retort and he hunches his shoulders a little.]

Don't fucking look at me.

[He's going to try slinking away now. CUTTING HIS LOSSES WHILE HE CAN.]

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Why, is something wrong with you? [leerx3combo]

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Nothing to do with your overwhelming embarrassment?

ffff I didn't even notice I used his text in that tag

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

You just threw a god damned bucket at me. It's like having someone dump a bunch of used condoms all over you.

[You can thank Santana for the fact that he knows what condoms are.]

ffft, I saw that but auto-equated it to RAEGSPEAK

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Hm. He'll have to consider this for a second. But only a second.]

Correction, I landed a bucket on your head like a carnival game. An unused bucket, to boot.

[forevercapslock.livejournal.com]

Fuck you, buckets are fucking obscene. Like leaving your human pornography just lying around.

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

Of course, that would be assuming I have hard copies of my preferences at all.

But my apologies, Kitkat. I forgot that you're still a kid.