03 - False Advertising

[has_signed_on]

[Izaya's on a mission today. He's walking towards the Libary, bucket in one hand, comm in the other. It's not all that interesting until a few moments later when he puts up a network post.]

---[Text]

Hey~! Does anyone feel like playing a game? <3

Comments

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

Profound cultural....what the hell are you talkin about? This is a conversation. As though I would deign to have an 'exchange' of anythin with someone of your race who is anything LESS than a ruler.

*Tries to stand up a little straighter himself. He's not going to be outdone by this human,oh no!*

Besides, what's good bout your 'culture' you'd share?

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

You misunderstand, Napoleon. When I said I was a god of humanity? I meant it. I'll watch over all of them, pass judgment over their lives or even help them if I see it fit.

But since you asked...

[Now here's where it gets fun. Because when I say he hands Eridan the bucket what I actually mean is that he abruptly grabs the toll's hand and forces the bucket into his grasp. There is no chance for instantaneous rejection; contact with the metal pail is made! /o/ Goal!]

Here you go.

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*Not the brightest crayon in the box, he gapes a moment as the bucket is nothing short of thrust into his hands. He stares at it, yellow eyes wide in both shock and confusion. His hand jerks away and he jumps back a little*

Is...THAT what you meant by cultural exchange!?

*this is one confused little troll. Was it...POSSIBLE that this human was capable of understanding the depth and complexity of Trollmance? Oh man his face is practically purple.*

I was...unaware you had such feelings...*right, scowly face* Though I hope that they are nothing but the blackest possible feelings, for I will accept no less. I have a matesprit already, after all.

*even if she doesn't know it but SHHHHH*

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Waaaaaaaait up, that was not quite the reaction he was expecting. Like at all. IT WAS LAST ON THE 'Reactions Izaya is expecting from Hipsterpoleon' LIST.

Though if it's any condolences it has slightly raised his hate of the troll. You're supposed to follow his plans, gdi!

But he won't let Eridan gain the upper hand so...he'll just play along with whatever the hell this is.

So you're a player, huh? Hmm...or just easy?

[That bucket, being dropped and all, is kicked out of the way btw. Fuck it and it's obstinacy.]

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

Ha, hardly. Perhaps I should explain so that your tiny human think pan doesn't get lost in the complexities. I will consider your offer of Kismesis affections.

*and unless stopped, Eridan will then proceed to explain the quadrants....all four of them..while throwing in barbed quips about WHY he hates Izaya enough for them to consider kismesitude.

Unless signore Izaya stops him of course. Willsave not to die of boredom.*

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Eridan's saying words! You've got to stop him! D:>]

Na-...

...

Napoleon.



Napoleon. Shut. Up.

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*stops mid-sentence, giving him a scathing look for interrupting him. Honestly the NERVE!*

How dare you! Honestly are all humans unbearably rude?

*Folds his arm and huffs*

Maybe I don't WANT your bucket offer! *actually goes out of his way to kick it at him*

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

When you deserve it, yea--

[Well, that definitely makes for a first of EPIC BUCKET DODGING.]

Did you just try to kick a freaking bucket at me?

Really?

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*still huffing*

Clearly I did! Take your stupid bucket and leave me alone!

*which is one of those weird "i say go away but i mean come closer" things. Because Izaya clearly wants to get it on with a bucket kicking troll. At least in Eridan's mind that statement makes sense*

*and is not creepy in the least.*

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Not to be confused with 'creeps', but Izaya just staresat Eridan. Probably with a look semi-equivalent of ಠ_ಠ

And then he laughs.

And laughs.

A lot.]

I can't believe it! All those stupid faces you're making! Is it insecurity or just inexperience - I almost can't tell.

I...I don't think I've seen anything this great in a while!

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*Somehow still shocked by the fact that Izaya is laughing at him. The trollboy will never learn. Ever.*

Stop that! S-Stop laughing at me!

*will not wibble will NOT wibble. This is why he cannot blackrom, too stupidly sensitive*

My faces are not stupid!

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[ Izaya knows no personal space when it comes to trolling. He will get all up in Eridan's grill >:| ]

Oh, are you gonna cry now?

My bad~ Maybe I expected too much from some kid. [Check out this bracketed redundancy: he doesn't mean that at all.]

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*Eridan, Eridan DO NOT CRY. He will never respect you if you cry, and you still want to try and foster that black black rom don't you? MAN UP!*

I'm not a kid! *Trying to look taller than he is. You will NOT look down on him Japanese man* Don't treat me like some human child!

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

You think I'm doing something like that? Na, I'm just treating you how your insecurities dictate.

If you weren't so easy to read I might try something else, but hey, what's the point?

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

Shut up! Seriously you're so infuriating!

*That's right Eri, get aggressive, that makes you look older.*

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

[Like this. BUT WITH A SHIRT OBVIOUSLY. B(]

You want me to shut up now? You know you can't get everything you want! Like I can.

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*Insecurity attack! Cuz he really can't have everything he wants. Hell he can't have ANYTHING he wants, really.*

You humans never know when to just do what you're told.

get ready for this

[has-signed-on.livejournal.com]

When I'm in charge? There's no need to listen to some sub-par authority.

[Time to flick this hipster kid in the forehead!!! Also, I just read hipster as hamster.]

Deal with it.

oh man here we go

[seahorsecaesar.livejournal.com]

*I read that as kick. Just sayin.*

Hey!!

*tries to swat his hand away. Nobody touches his noble body so disrespectfully. And no he's not going to cry.*